As Theresa May forms another government and prepares for another term as Prime Minister, Labour campaigners are celebrating like they’ve just won a general election and the Lib Dems and the SNP are asking themselves, ‘what the fuck just happened?’

Well, if you haven’t been on social networks or been communicated by the outside world, the Conservatives were left looking very unstable last night as the BBC/Sky news exit poll, you know, that one that got the 2015 election bang on, predicted that Labour made significant gains and that the Tories were just shy of a majority government. The mandate that May was seeking was not going to be delivered. Embarassing, eh?

Meanwhile, on the other side of the chamber, Labour lost another general election but made some gains. It was predicted that they would gain 36 seats. More importantly, they were going to hold onto marginals. However, Labour campaigners up and down the land were celebrating like they’d won a 1997 style election, and we are entering a new dawn. No guys, you lost another election. Embarassing.

The SNP were, and probably quite rightly, reeling from their obscene 2015 returns, but the main three came to Scotland and had a good old munch into their corner of the chamber. However. They were claiming that this was to be expected. Doesn’t sound like the reassuring noises that should be coming from a party who want to galvanise enough national support to have any independence referendum to me. Embarassing.

The Lib Dems did okay. Gaining some seats, taking them from 8 to 12, but again, hardly an effective opposition that Tim Farron was promising. It is highly unlikely that they will ever hit the electoral heights of 2005 under a Scottish alcoholic. It’s a shame Charles Kennedy is dead, he could of helped the Lib Dems in his home nation, but to be fair, he doesn’t deserve to see his party these days. Not so much embarassing, just sad.

UKIP were wiped out and their leader stood down. Probably the one pro from this election. That, in itself, is embarassing.

Greens shouted and ranted and raved about how different they are from Corbyn’s Labour, and it seems like the people of Brighton Pavilion are the only ones who take any notice. Didn’t surpass the UKIP vote, despite them being obsolete. Embarassing.

Plaid Cymru. Embarassing. And I’m saying that as a Welshman.

The really embarrassing thing about this whole election is not that we didn’t really want any of the options available to us, and if Blair wasn’t a war criminal, we’d have him back in a heartbeat. It’s the fact that 1.5 per cent of the electorate have decided this election. Those people voted via a proportional representation system in Northern Ireland, and they voted for the DUP. And that isn’t even the most embarrassing thing about this election. It’s that at 8am on 9th June 2017, every journalist across the land was googling who on earth the DUP even are.


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